The Arch-Nemesis of Productivity

Tags

action, android, diamond dash, electronics, fun, game addiction, games, iphone, play, puzzle, rune master, scramble, scramble with friends, sea stars, smartphones, social gaming, triple town

A smartphone as you know it can be a powerful hazard to your physical, mental and occupational health. And it doesn’t help that multi-billionaire game giants like PopCap and Zygna have long expanded to platforms beyond IOS, shooting the accessibility of time-wasting gimmicks sky high, worldwide.

In fact, I’ve been putting this entry off for quite a while now because of the subject matter that I’m going to talk about; I’m not exaggerating the least bit when I say I can waste up to 7 hours a day on smartphone games. Here are the pocket pals that have ultimately ruin, and continue to demolish my days by inducing big addictions to a little touch screen.

1. Triple Town 

It’s all about planning your steps carefully, no matter what item comes your way. Three grass clumps form a bush. Three bushes form a cottage. Three cottages form a house. Three houses, a mansion. Three mansions, a castle. And so on. Battle kawaii bears while you’re at it, annoying mongrels that hop about and try to block your way – and if you play your pieces at the right time, they just might turn into mega-churches to form treasure chests. When you run out of moves, there’s always the Facebook version to turn to if you haven’t bought the paid version. Way more frustrating and engaging than your usual game of Chess or Go; there’s no winning this game because it always reaches a dead end, but you can be sure to feel fulfilled when you achieve that sparkly floating castle or whatever might come after it. Talk about making the most of limited space!

Once my moves run out, I usually scramble over to… 

2. Scramble With Friends

The latest social word game to hit the smart phone market. Gloat over your triumphs against your friends and parade your language snobbery by competing over who can display a wider knowledge of words in two minutes. After multiple rounds you can sense a pattern in letter permutations and it becomes a duel of memory capacity more than intellect, but that doesn’t wear away the novelty of victory. Especially when your avatar does a little cocky dance after the third and final round of word play.

Once my tokens have been spent, I dash on over to… 

3. Diamond Dash 

Bejewelled whaaa? For the nimble fingers and minds who enjoy frenetic puzzle action. What beats playing this with the mouse is that you can get a friend or two to help you cheat with extra hands. Blow-up gems with the satisfaction of initiating the ‘flaming mode’, which you struggle to achieve and stay at for as long as you can – it’s like a vicious cycle within 60 seconds of climbing up a hill, reaching the apex and struggling to balance at the tip only to stumble down and try all over again. Just keep away from this heart-popping frenzy before bed-time because it’s sure to leave your senses (and fingers) tingling with excitement.

Once my hearts are exhausted, I dive into… 

4. Sea Stars 

Yes, it’s more suitable for children given the cutesy graphics and weird telly-tubby-like voices that surface every time ‘Rainbow Birds’ mode is activated. But there’s also so much more than just collecting coins or avoiding poisonous jellyfish and explosive rocket crabs. An extensive store of items, upgrades and characters are swell motivational factors for you to keep swimming; not to mention endless rounds of challenging quests. My focus on Sea Stars is starting to slacken a little due to its repetitive nature and limited engagement, but once in a while I do the little water-dance so that I can eventually save up for Niji the Narwhal (a whopping 500,000 coins). Slowly, but surely.

Once I’ve used up my free speed blaster packs and jellyfish shields, I sprint over to…

5. Rune Master 

This can probably be viewed as a puzzle game that’s already out of date, but I’ve been consistently re-visiting it every once in a while since late last year, out of appreciation for being able to crack your brains without ever having to rush. Contrary timed puzzle block games like Diamond Dash, Rune Master is all about planning and calculating your next step with concise precision and care. But don’t underestimate its hook of obsession even with its lack of urgency. This game kept me away from my job half the time, with my colleagues exchanging disapproving / knowing glances every time I walked away to the ‘loo’ to swop a few stones.

Forget training your eyes on the PC in LAN shops, forget battling it to the death on L4D or Team Fortress – why pay for gaming time or installation when you can switch between multiple time-suckers back-to-back, for free and on the go? It doesn’t help that ‘unpaid’ versions are limited. Excuse yourself from your work station to embark on hour-long toilet breaks, or miss your train stop thanks to fully immersing yourself in game play, all for the sake of beating that high score or your friend’s or accomplishing an all-important mission.

Who needs texting or movies / serials to keep you seemingly preoccupied so that you can avoid the social obligation of giving up your seat to some elderly dude or preggo? As long as you’ve got your smartphone packed with plenty of games, you’re excused from having to display any forms of social graces. And if you ever tire of whatever you might be crazed over now, the App Store is always here to save the day. These evil productivity-stomping trolls, for sure, are here to stay.

Make Yourself at Home in this Cabin

Tags

A Serbian Film, American, analysis, Ancient Ones, Anna Hutchison, Bun Man, Chris Hemsworth, Cold Fish, comedy, critique, drew Goddard, film, Fran Kranz, gore, Hellraiser, horror, Hunger Games, it, Jesse Williams, Joss Wheddon, Kirsten Connolley, monsters, movie industry, review, ritual, Sprski, Stephen King, The Cabin in the Woods, The Rite

I’ve never been a fan of horror and gore flicks, but it’s just too bad that the person I spent over half my waking days together with is. Over the past three weeks, the boyfriend’s already put me the ordeal of:

Cold Fish – A sick Japanese psycho-thriller serial killer gore film directed by Sion Sono about how one massively wealthy (and twisted) fish shop owner turns the life of his more humble counterpart, along with his family’s lives, topsy turvy-upside down.

Bun Man: The Untold Story - Some 1993 Hong Kong flick about a murderer effectively getting rid of his evidence by putting the meat of his victim’s through a grinder, then making them into pork buns for unsuspecting restaurant patrons to polish them up for him.

The Rite - Another creepy ‘based on a true story’ American account of possession, exorcism and religion. There’s something about Anthony Hopkins that just makes this film so  sexy, though.

A Serbian Film (Sprski) – Don’t ever think of watching this torture porn flick if you wish to cling on to any ounce of your libido. If it were possible for visual stimuli to trigger a pass-out, this would be it.

And the list goes on. Believe me when I say I’ve seen my share of steaming entrails, popped eyeballs, blood fountains and spinning heads. On screen, that is.

Stephen King argues that us people crave the media experience of horror to keep our latent violent tendencies in check. Deprive us of those simple pleasures, and we might go running amok and stabbing our friends and neighbors in the faces. But how long can a general audience so desensitized by violence – such as my friend’s nephew who’s four and a half, and already quite the pro at Team Fortress – truly continue to take pleasure in the ‘thrill’ of watching human beings cut up and decapitated, haunted by ghouls and monsters, or plagued by a mysterious and incurable disease?

Which is why I was pleasantly surprised by the latest ‘horror’ comedy flick in town that’s gotten critics raving to no end. I’m sure bloggers and reviewers alike are tired of recycling adjectives for films in this genre as “shocking” or “scary” – which is what the poster image of The Cabin in the Woods suggests to have in store for its audience, but does not unfold according to at all. It’s freshness factor lies in the delightfully complex combination of sci-fi, satire and in-genre references that are careful not to be over-represented by atypical CG effects.

The 'control room', from which middlemen unleash 'horrors' upon our essential five characters in the film.

Think Hunger Games and reality-TV when Drew Goddard and Joss Wheddon introduces the concept of victims being tortured and environmentally manipulated through the buttons of high-tech set-ups and controls. Along with the extended metaphoric depiction of horror as an ‘ ancient ritual’; terrorized plot characters as sacrifices to the ‘gods’ (essentially, the audience); and middlemen making it happen from a safe distance in an external control room, as movie-makers and directors serving up senseless visual narratives of sex and violence to us, the audience, who demand for it. There’s no need to further emphasize on the genius of these plot sub-layers, given that critics are repeatedly screaming their heads off: CAN’T YOU SEE WHAT THIS FILM IS ALL ABOUT?

Even for viewers who are just in for the entertainment and fail to see through the intricacies and meta-critique on the subject of modern day cultural horror, this film is a joy to sit through; especially for fans of the genre who’d be thrilled to witness the fast-paced carnival of massacration that takes place at the climax. Look forward to charming ‘cameos’ with a delicious monster-mash, featuring much-loved characters such as from Clive Barker’s Hellraiser and Stephen King’s It. It’s a hilarious take on the clichés of American horror, and even more so when the middlemen subtly compare their ‘scare’ attempts with Japan’s.

I also especially love how upon unveiling the ‘ritual’ (a.k.a. the entire point of this show) by the appearance of the company’s Director, it all makes sense when picking apart American horror films of today. Plots would typically put elect a group of friends as victims, and proceed to bring these stereotypical characters down, one-by-one until there is a sole survivor or no one left at the end:

*** SPOILER ALERT: DO NOT READ ON IF YOU HAVE YET TO WATCH THE CABIN IN THE WOODS *** 

1. The Whore: It’s mentioned that ‘the whore’ character is quintessentially the first one to be killed off. There’s a slutty bimbo in every group of friends, usually blonde, who provides certain titillation to the audience - but is quickly annihilated because she is the most despised. It’s considered pretty fun to see Jules (Anna Hutchison) make out passionately with a stuffed wolf and rendered topless before she is brutally mutilated by a random zombie wandering around outdoors.

2. The Athlete: Male counterpart to the Whore. This ‘himbo’ again holds less importance because of his all-brawn-and-no-brains image. In the case of The Cabin in the Woods, Curt (Chris Hemsworth) was originally a scholar; but then chemically manipulated by the middlemen into portraying the alpha-male behaviour of a high-school jockey.

3. The Scholar: Obviously intellectual and of good nature, Holden (Jesse Williams) appears to be the perfect match for The Virgin in terms of an ideal romance. But romance is not what this film is about, and so the death of this character hints at a certain extent of tragedy and loss when The Scholar kicks the bucket.

4. The Fool: Every plot requires an obnoxious character to provide comic relief. Marty (Fran Kranz) is the strange-looking, boisterous, mega-bong smoking pothead – what’s a comedic story without drugs? – to entice peals of laughter from the audience. It also makes sense that The Fool stays alive until almost the very end, because the elimination of this character would take the humour out of ‘horror comedy’.

5. The Virgin: A favourite role among the audience, even the middleman scientist who sympathizes with this naive/innocent character. Of course, the word ‘virgin’ is not meant to be taken literally because an actual one is hard to find in this day and age. It is implied by the Director that The Virgin will always be the last to be killed off (if she is to be), and may or may not survive. The ultimate heroine of the show, Dana (Kirsten Connolley) does indeed effectively struggle to live against the senseless terrors raining upon her.

Why is there a massive hand that emerges at the very end as the ‘Ancient Ones’ rise up from below to destroy them all? It’s probably because since The Fool refuses to be killed off, there’s really not much left to the story to proceed with. Thus the hand as a symbol of massive power and demand for death, overriding the characters’ resilience against their fates, to announce: The End.

The only bone I have to pick would be with the poorly delivered acting, which at times can be painful to watch. Especially one scene after the characters are introduced to the Cabin, and Holden/Dana hold awkward soliloquies upon the discovery of a creepy spy window/mirror. It can probably be argued that the amateurish and detached acting was intentionally brought about to undermine the ‘serious’ tone of the movie. Intentional or not, I found these certain scenes to be particularly cringe-inducing.

*** END OF SPOILER *** 

The reason why I love this film so much is because it masquerades under the genre of ‘horror’ while subsequently unveiling witty social commentary on the film-making industry today. There are just so many ways to read into it, while still being thrilled, tickled and captivated. I’m giving this masterpiece a 8.5/10 and probably a full score if not for the unnaturally exaggerated (yet characteristic for an American film) portrayal of the characters at times.

And guess what I’ll be doing later on today? Heading down to cinemas for my second shot of The Cabin in the Woods. 

Alex Is On Fire

Whoever said that diamonds are a girl’s best friend was obviously a scheming, conniving jewel merchant out for blood and of course, money.

And whoever’s seen Blood Diamond should’ve been enlightened and incensed enough to into the spoils of such a horrendous legacy again. Yet, these carbon-crystals sold at inflated prices in every cut and carat continue to reign under the shallow, cultural disguise of every desirable concept imaginable: love, eternity, affluence, and my newly-manicured nails.

But none can deny that they’ll probably be forever – because even with the widespread ignition of such knowledge, these products of suspected little inherent value has done little to faze the diamond trade and instead, given scientists a run for their money in the niche market for less expensive lab diamonds and cubic zirconia. Still, these crow-like consumers appear not to harbour much imagination as they continue to pursue what’s clear, dazzling and white.

Which is why if I ever were to spend a few pretty pennies on any rock at all, it would most probably be the Alexandrite, for a few out of a million reasons:

The Chameleon of gems 

Discovered on the birthday of Alexander the II, the Czar of Russia, this dazzling shape-shifter is not only an excellent conversational piece, but also a true eye-popping freak of nature. Thanks to the presence of chromium ions, owning a well-cut rock like this is as good as having two or more of a precious stone. But beautiful, genuine Alexandrites with a good color change percentage can be tough luck unless you’re one of Donald Trump’s wives. And is also why commonplace middle-class citizens like me on a budget would probably settle for a lab-created one – with amazing color change for a third of the original price per carat, and almost nada flaws.

The true meaning of rare 

While diamonds are found aplenty in millions of jewellers world-wide, it’s unlikely that you’d walk into a jewellery shop asking for an Alex without being promptly turned away. A good Alexandrite with scarce impurities and high-quality color changing properties can cost as much as tens of thousands for a carat. Most people have probably never seen and never will see a natural Alex for their entire lives – in 1998, a 11.08 carat Alex sold for U.S. $382680 (about $35000 per carat) at Christie’s. There’s no doubt this baby is one of the rarest and most treasured jewels in the world.

Myths, Cultural Significance and Metaphysical Meaning

There’s so much more meaning to the Alexandrite than just romance or love. For one, it’s an alternative birthstone to a pearl for those born in June, and also a 55th wedding anniversary stone. It carries the significance of success to scientists, explorers and mathematicians – probably because of it’s mysterious colour change that astounds and awes. It is also a good luck charm and the epitome of adventure ; to defy social conventions and make daring decisions, symbolizing progress and loyalty; and bringing its wearer self-esteem and joy.

An Alex engagement ring means so much more than a typical clear, colourless diamond to me – and probably what I hope to see on my finger in due time. Once I’ve saved up a pretty penny and found someone who works with more than the atypical diamonds, sapphires and rubies.

As for now, I can only pore over endless on-line photographs with envy;

And the search will go on.

Why I Wont “I Do” Like They Do

Tags

bridesmaids, bridesmaids film, Love, marriage, relationships, saying i do, wedding ceremony, weddings

Watching Bridesmaids over the long weekend all the more reaffirms my resolution not to hold a wedding on my wedding day.

Another film about the catastrophe of planning ‘every’ girl’s dream of walking down the aisle in pristine white, veiled splendour. They say women are suckers for films about The Big Day; Made of Honor, Maid of Honor, The Wedding Singer, The Wedding, Runaway Bride… yet there’s one common element to them all: disaster, albeit always concluded by the happy Hollywood bang of stardust and streamers. But we all know that marriage doesn’t actually bestow the real deal between every couple with a fairytale ending. It’s only just the beginning: getting a place of your own; paying bills, rent and mortgages; becoming more than acquainted with in-laws (from Hell, if you’re unlucky); planning for money-sucking vortexes we call children, and so on.

I’ve always viewed weddings as a grand, over-hyped ceremony to announce to extended family and friends you haven’t seen in ages that Hey, we’re getting married. Look at us, we’re the perfect happy couple. For now. People turn up for one day to mingle, pop a couple of canapés, make superficial comments on the appearance of the bride and groom and maybe guffaw over nasty, embarrassing stories of either one. I can’t recall a wedding lunch or dinner where I wasn’t stuffing my face and chugging cheap wine to avoid awkward conversation at a table filled with mostly strangers. Or where I wasn’t lamenting over how all the montages are the same at every banquet – cringe-inducing PowerPoint presentations parading baby photographs and over-simplified stories of how Romeo and Juliet fell in love.

I can imagine just now agonizing planning a Big Day can be, and it’s not about you or your partner at all; it’s about having to entertain guests with a smile plastered to your face for hours, expressing faux delight at a redundant coffee machine or set of crystal plates you know would probably be collecting dust in your store room next year, and having your families cough up hefty 6-digit sums to help cover the grand affair. And all for what? For the bride’s gal pals to gush over a flamboyant dress to be worn only once in her lifetime, and for the groom’s mates to shake their heads at and murmur about how they’ve lost yet another Friday night beer buddy.

You’ve probably heard from more than one anti-matrimonial cynic about how marriage is just a piece of paper. And it is. Here in this day and age, people don’t really get married for the sake of love like they do in Hollywood fantasies. They get married because they want to buy a flat in Singapore, which HDB will only grant to couples who are legally married, with a few special exceptions. Or they get married out of obligation due to religion, family traditions and more commonly, the result of irresponsible sexual behaviour. And if you’re really saying “I Do” out of love for the partner you’re assumed to spend ‘forever’ with – what’s the point of going through all the trouble and expenses for others to have a fancy-schmancy rah-rah time.

Don’t get me wrong: I still want to look pretty and made-up in a wedding dress and have a rock on my finger, all for the privilege of having that opportunity to brag to envious single lady friends. Or for having something to show my children, if I ever decide to have any. That’s still possible with fantastic wedding photography (where you don’t just wear one wedding dress, but a dozen if you wanted to) and skilled jeweller.

And of course, that silly piece of paper declaring you as husband and wife – at least in the eyes of the law. But most importantly, to demonstrate a lifetime of love and commitment, I still believe that all it takes is two.

Goodie Oldies

Tags

berenice bejo, george valentin, jean dujardin, korean drama, peppy miller, review, silent movie, silent movies, stephanie meyer, suzanne collins, the artist, the hunger games, twilight, twinkle twinkle

“I have become a silent movie… the hero killed the clown. Can’t make a sound…” – Elliot Smith

In this silent film there were no killings, clowns, nor heroes. Instead, we’re whisked into a black-and-white world by a love story between fictional actors George Valentin and Peppy Miller in The Artist, set nearly a century ago. It’s the perfect date movie for couples who love a contemporary gem brimming with nostalgia and good ‘ole classy fun.

I must say that it’s the first silent film I’ve ever sat through, and every scene was a real treat. This film shines with dazzling dance moves, the occasional charming (intertitle) dialogue, and perfectly timed orchestrated music to go along with stunning visuals and expressive body language. The cinematic experience has evolved so vastly over the past century to astound and amaze, that sitting through vintage style in ‘silence’ has become a refreshing breath of air amidst an era saturated with technology, 3D special effects and surround sound.

George Valentin (Jean Dujardin)  is a celebrated and respected actor whose fierce passion and confidence wins him nation-wide adoration, including that of young, bright and chipper Peppy Miller (Berenice Bejo), a star he unknowingly creates with kind words and a dash of pen ink on her face (sounds obviously Marilyn Monroe to anyone?). But it’s that fierce passion and resistance against changes of the tides that eventually drives him down the path of self-destruction and loss. To watch Valentin struggle against this “in with the new, out with the old” concept is heart-wrenching to witness, as talkies march swiftly into the scene and overthrow the silent world with a new generation of noise.

Less than a week ago on the train home, I spotted a man reading a newspaper article with the headline: The Hunger Games beats Twilight. Though I have to agree on that statement, I didn’t think that was anything headline-worthy as just about anything beats Twilight (my apologies to Meyer fans). I found The Artist far more powerful than the shaky visuals and cheesy teen-love scenes of the on-screen rendition of Collins’ futuristic fantasy, though I do admit it’s not very apt to put these two on a common line of comparison since they’re genres of film worlds apart. [Edit 29/3, 1:39AM: After having attended the gala premiere of Wrath of the Titans , I would like to retract my statement about Twilight. Just about anything beats this terrible waste of time]

To explain my absence in short, I’m recovering from a case of the K-virus which has left me glued to the monitor for the past two weeks. After having emerged from at least three thousand, two hundred and forty minutes of Twinkle Twinkle, a.k.a Sparkling - it’s about time I finally snapped out of that malicious spite-ridden pit of fictional fury. I’ve also noticed a trend among Asian soaps exceeding 30 episodes – be it Korean, Japanese, Taiwanese or Hong Kong dramas. They’re all about shrewd, scheming women gouging each others’ eyes out for the love of attention, men, power and cold hard cash. Why can’t they make a drama series starring bitchy men fighting over rich and easily-manipulated women instead?

The cause of my recent blogging inertia - another rich girl, poor girl swapped-at-birth tale involving feminine feud that'll leave you gritting your teeth with unhealthy anticipation and mood swings.

But for now, I’ve had enough of vicious, twisted story plots that leave you tossing in bed with unease and indignance just thinking about what’s going to happen next. It’s better to take a breather with the old-fashioned, light-hearted Artist which I’d give a 7.5 out of 10; the epitome of how a picture speaks a thousand words. And one of the loudest ones, at that.

Three Nights in Bangkok and the World’s Your Oyster

Tags

Bangkok, chatuchak, clubbing, eat am are, ekkamai, holiday, indra square, khao san, Kiss club, market, nana plaza, nightlife, Pad thai, Patpong, places to go, places to go in bangkok, route 66, shopping, Soi Cowboy, steakhouse, strip clubs, thai girl show, Thailand, things to do in bangkok, travel, Tuba, vacation

Ask anyone who’s been to Bangkok and you’ll receive nothing but raves. In the past year I’ve been on some considerably good Southeast Asian trips where unforgettable food and places such as Penang’s Char Kway Teow and HCMC’s Le Jardin left me ranting to my envious peers up until today, but I have to say that my 4D3N stay in Bangkok has been the most remarkable.

Every tourist destination will have its ups and downs. Being in a foreign city jam-packed with businesses and people, it’s essential to plan your itinerary with care; don’t expect to get a restful stay here if your days here are numbered and you want to make the most of your trip!

Hit: Cheap Eats

Big bites are to be discovered every small step through this food haven. Don’t bother searching for a notable restaurant or settling for international food – when you’re in Bangkok, the streets are the only way to go. Just seat yourself at any beaten up roadside table or coffee shop and you’re likely to be in for a gastronomic surprise. It amazes me how street side delicacies anywhere in this place can easily beat most hawker fare in Singapore. And if you’re lucky, you even get served complimentary iced water to go along with your meal.

Savory: Be sure to at least try three or four varieties of iconic pad thai as they’re cooked and presented differently at every stall. And you can’t miss their beef/pork vermicelli/noodle soup - just give any variety a go - complete with thick, succulent slices of meat and juicy meatballs in bone broth and generous servings of greens.

Sweet: Cut fruit is abundant in every corner and you’ll find the sweetest, most ripe mangoes here so be sure to savour their khao niaow ma muang (mango sticky rice). But my favourite sweet treat would still be khanom bueang: crispy bite-sized crepes filled with a sticky cream that is reminiscent of marshmallows and topped with shredded coconut.

The variety of delicacies are really too extensive to cover in a single post, but those are just a few of my choice picks. Bottom line is, try everything as long as you see a steady buzz of locals around and each dish remains below 70 baht. It only takes a couple of Singapore dollars to fill your stomach – slap your face silly with unbelievable value for money!

Juicy chicken steak and prawn fritters complete with a slice of French toast, coleslaw and fries for about 110 baht. Cheap, cheap cheap! This place is a popular Western dining outlet among the locals. My first meal in Bangkok while waiting for waiting for my hotel room to be ready.

Restaurant-wise, Eat Am Are @ Jo Place (pardon the strange grammar) is also a delightful place to drop by for crazy-cheap Western food. We were drawn to this  eatery because it was crammed to the ceiling with patrons. The pork and chicken steaks are delish and shockingly value-for-money!

Hit: Downscale Shopping

If you’re on a budget, forget the up-scale malls at Siam, i.e. Central World, Siam Paragon/Central. Instead, be prepared to spend the entire day shopping your feet off at Chatuchak where you can find almost everything ranging from exotic pets to souvenirs and kitchenware. I visited this bustling weekend market on a Sunday, packed with both tourists and locals who flock there for their every purchasing need. Buy a lamp shade. Buy some glittery trinkets to accessorize. Buy a nice office blouse for 150 baht or less. But beware of pickpockets and nasty cheats, and always keep in mind to ask around for the price of a similar item before making a decision. This place was so large that it was impossible to cover the entire stretch of Chatuchak – 8 hours here and we only managed to finish browsing about half of the market.

Common household bunnies, kittens and puppies litter the market at Chatuchak. You can also find more 'exotic' pets such as snakes and porcupines here. Girls, get ready to go gaga with kawaii-overdose!

Skip the Platinum Fashion Mall and Pratunam Wholesale Market because there’s a gem just a stone’s throw away. A prime place to visit if you’re looking for cheap and trendy clothing would be the Indra Square, right next to the Pratunam Wholesale Market. It’s a run down building where every level is full of lovely factory outlet-priced goods, from office skirts to casual shorts and Korean-styled tops, usually for less than 200 baht, even at non-wholesale prices. I went mad at the superb quality and feel of the material and workmanship. We spent our last day here just two hours before heading to the airport – and would probably stay longer if we didn’t have a flight to catch.

Hit: Nightlife at Khao San

Another popular tourist destination consisting solely of backpacker inns and kitschy hangout pubs & cafes. What I really loved about this place was the atmosphere – the streets in between are full of food stalls, including exotic eats such as fried insects: choose from scorpions, maggots and crickets to munch on. And if you want to take snap away, these mercenary vendors will charge you 10 baht. You can also find stalls selling the usual rip-off souvenirs, t-shirts and trinkets, as well as dread-locking services. With live music, glowing neon signs and shisha in every corner, a stroll through this stretch is a good idea on the first couple of nights to whet your appetite for night life in Bangkok.

Khao San is also famous for ripping tourists off when it comes to buying valuable items such as gold and silver jewellery, so stay away from the stores. We had dinner at Tom Yung Kung, a famous Thai restaurant with delicious tom yum soup in a tiny hotpot.  Just ordering a couple of dishes will set your wallet back by about 1000 baht - a pleasant but pricey experience.

Hit: Nightlife at RCA

I had the time of my life here. I absolutely cannot emphasize on how absolutely sensational my experience at Route 66 was: $200 baht entry (that’s less than $10 SGD) with a complimentary Smirnoff cocktail – and other cocktails of the menu priced for even less; posh, up-scale ambience; mesmerizing laser light shows; and a marvellous mix of music. According to both website research and Red’s Thai sister-in-law, Route is one of the top clubs in Thailand and the place to be.

The classy and up-beat exterior of the club. Don't be put off by the misleading open-air concept, as the air-conditioning is satisfactorily cool inside.

A cybermatrix-green curtain of green laser jets greeted us at the entrance.

Take your pick among live music and performances, where music videos are projected onto a large screen behind the stage and the band plays alternately with good mixes from the deejay. There was a very, very cute male singer on-stage that night and his stage presence was electrifying.

If live music and chillin’ is not your thing, then move on to the real deal at the dancing area on the other side: at 1am, this place was already filled with a good mix of foreigners and locals partying to a funky mix of techno, hip-hop, pop, trance and R&B all rolled into one. I’ve never heard anything like it, and the transitions were pretty smooth! After my complimentary Smirnoff Big Apple cocktail, I ordered a yummy Mai Tai and proceeded to dance the night away.

Drink in the lively atmosphere, thrilling laser light displays and superb sound system at the dance floor of Route 66.

Even the Ladies' boasts a breathtaking sight with a humongous 4-section: the smoking area, two waiting lounges (this is one of them) with luxuriously cushioned seats and a flat-screen television, and a cleaner who graces you with royal service by opening the cubicle doors for you.

Another attractive-looking club with a similar concept next to Route 66 was Flix & Slim - I’d definitely give this a try when I return.

Hit: Happy Hours at Tuba

Located in the area of Ekkamai, we got a little lost attempting to take the Skytrain there. We later learned from a helpful local that it was more advisable to take a taxi. Rated as the #1 among Things to do in Bangkok on Lonely Planet, this place certainly isn’t the #1 thing to do on my list, but is a very lovely place for a chill and relax session after a long, gruelling day of exploring the city.

Huge glasses of yummy cocktails (from left: a Midori drink and their signature Mojito) come with a crispy welcome snack served with a tomato-based meat sauce.

Drinks here are promoted as 1-for-1 (about 250 baht per cocktail on the menu) from 5 – 8 pm, and come in massive cocktail glasses. They pack a mean punch as well, and I was feeling a little heady after just one drink. Their thin-crust pizzas are pretty crispy as well, but I wouldn’t recommend them as they’re priced at about 400 baht and you can easily chomp on similar cuisine for the same fare in Singapore.

Miss: Rip-off transport services from the airport

Taxi drivers at any airport in every corner of the world will attempt to rip first-time tourists off. Upon arrival, signs will point you to the lower levels where you queue for cabs to be assigned to you. This was the very first mistake I made: taking a cab with a rigged metre.

The glowing red numbers will jump by 2 baht every five seconds or so, and you’d think it was the normal fare if you’re unfamiliar with the currency. By the time I arrived at my hotel near Pratunam, the fare was well above 400 baht, not including the so-called 50 baht airport “surcharge” and checkpoint fees of about 75 baht. Keep in mind that transport by taxi actually costs less than half the price for the same distance! The solution? It’s best to grab a cab from an alighting passenger at Level 4, where you’ll meet more honest taxi drivers who are just on their way out.

Miss: Proficiently multi-lingual locals

On our first evening, we flagged a cab to Khao San and were initially pleasantly surprised and how fluently the driver spoke in English. He convinced us that the area was only open around 10 pm or so (it was around 8pm), and suggested that he bring us to a ‘fantastic seafood restaurant nearby’ for dinner. “If the food there doesn’t meet your standards, you can kill me!” he swore.

I had a sneaking suspicion that he was probably paid a commission to do this, but reluctantly agreed because he spoke with such fervour and enthusiasm. We ended up getting dropped off at a god-forsaken building full of empty tables, with just a couple of tables being patronized by gullible-looking Caucasian tourists – and where the menu read a shocking price of 300 baht for a plate of stir-fried vegetables.

While shopping, it’s also crucial to beware of local merchants with the gift of the gab. They’ll flatter and impress you with compliments and seductive purchase suggestions, usually with the prices marked up triple or even ten times more than you can normally find them anywhere else. A lady tried to sell me bust enhancement cream (Red was considering this as a present for a flat-chested friend of ours) for 750 baht, where we later found the very same brand selling for a flat rate of 100 baht. We eventually concluded that it was better to stick with merchants and taxi drivers who’d communicate with us in mere gestures.

Miss: Nightlife at Patpong and Soi Cowboy

Famed for sleazy ‘Thai Girl Shows‘ and strip clubs, you’re bound to get hounded by plenty of ‘pushers’ trying to scam you into paying a so-called 100 baht for a Thai Girl Show at Patpong – with the intention of charging you thousands of baht, according to Red. We took a slow walk through these places while being careful not to relent to these persistent salesmen, who can be quite grabby at times.

Soi Cowboy is another popular tourist destination for strip clubs and prostitution. Girls as young as 16 or 17 parade outside these bars in skimpy outfits, trying to lure lusty Caucasian men in. We had a drink at one of the A-go-go bars, KISS - where topless dancers stand listlessly glued to their poles. It was quite funny to watch because at times, they stand on-stage looking bored and even chatter among themselves; Red dubbed them as ‘lazy strippers’.

If you insist on viewing the famed Bangkok Thai Girl show, try approaching a taxi driver loitering at the exit of Soi Cowboy and it’s likely he’ll bring offer to you to a cheaper, shady underground bar at Nana Plaza where you pay a cover charge of 500 baht to see a small group of ladies do the standard tricks such as pulling out chains and ribbons, play ping-pong, open glass Coke bottles, write and smoke with their V-jangjangs and even end the performance with a bang (literally): a live 5-minute sex show. It’s a unique experience here but I wasn’t particularly entertained or impressed, as I have a feeling that most of the tricks performed had a simple technique or mechanism behind them which didn’t take much skill. No photos here as they’re pretty strict on keeping your recording / photography devices tucked away!

————————–

I left Bangkok feeling exhausted, but so very happy and in love with the city – especially with bursting bag full of buys. Excluding hotel and flight fares, I spent less than $400 SGD here with plenty of shopping, good eats and entertainment that’ll barely graze your pockets.

Looking at You Looking at Me

Tags

long distance relationships, relationships, skype, skype sleeping, social media, strengthening relationships, things to do, tips

Red and I share an unusual relationship.

The fact that I come from a traditional Asian family explains why I’m in my mid-twenties, have yet to move out (and don’t hope to anytime soon) and have never had a boyfriend spend the night at my place. And I’m past my prime for partying, so it’s off home before local transport ceases running and taxis begin charging at cutthroat prices. What’s a girl to do to stay close to her loved one when physically apart?

Most probably hold long phone conversations with their significant halves, before bidding each other goodnight and hanging up to hit the sack.

But Red and I go to bed side by side, and awake to the sight of one another each morning. Thanks to one of the greatest applications to ever be created – Skype. Video is the next best thing to being literally together, despite Red and I staying on opposite ends of this tiny island. And it’s been approximately 10 months since our first overnight Skype session – plus hundreds of dollars’ worth of electrical bills – since we’ve been habitually ‘hanging out’ with each other on-screen, day and night.

Besides having the usual “What did you do today?” conversations and dramatic couple arguments, there are plenty of (clean) ways to add spark into a relationship through video-calling.

1. Watch a movie ‘together’

With quick and easy (though sadly not legal) methods to download a film over the net, my partner and I get a film ready on our computers before we countdown together and click the play button almost simultaneously. It’s an enjoyable way to enjoy a flick together – almost like sitting side by side in the cinemas. Remember to time your toilet breaks and whatever breaks you have to take so that both of you remain more or less on the same minutes of the movie. End film, and discuss just like you would while walking out of the theatre.

2. Smiley toes 

On days when Red and I aren’t feeling especially conversational, we draw smileys on the digits of our feet and let them do the talking. It’s sick and silly, but will definitely ring in minutes of laughter. The novelty wears off after a while, but a sudden smiley toe has yet to lose its ‘surprise’ element when presented in the midst of a ‘face-to-face’ chat.

3. Sing for the moment 

It’s endearing when you and your partner break out into a song you both know and it unknowingly becomes a short, impromptu duet which ends in a fit of giggles. Though Red can’t carry a tune in a bucket for his life, I love it when he chimes in and we mumble the lyrics to tunes that come to mind. Put us together in real life and we’d do a little dance together as well.

4. Bear hugs and kisses

Stretch your arms out wide and pucker up at the camera. Physical touch is the language of love, and when it’s not possible due to geographical distances, you can always play pretend. It warms up your heart a little just to bear-hug some air at the sight of your guy doing the same.

5. Sleep

Looks like we aren’t the pioneers for the already-coined terms Skype-sleeping and Ambient Skype, but we were the first to come up with this regular routine among our friends prior to knowing that others do it, too. Waking up in the middle of the night is comforting when the first thing you see is your partner in bed, wrapped up in his comforters and softly snoring away. But be prepared for interrupted snoozing when other sounds invade the speakers of your laptop or smartphone: loud family members, construction and traffic from beyond your partners room, but whose noise gets picked up by the evil mic nonetheless. Another tip for Skype-sleeping would to leave a night light or a bedside lamp on so you don’t appear as a black block on the screen. Those with thin eyelids probably need some time getting used to this.

They say that technology is often a driving force behind social isolation and what-not, but video-calling has definitely given me a taste of what co-habitation with Red could be like. A steady Wi-Fi connection, sufficient lighting and a good interface for Skype (I normally use my iPhone as its camera is much more light-sensitive than my laptop) is all you need for that almost-together experience with your partner. And I believe lovebirds in LDRs would all the more appreciate the habit – I can safely say that half of my relationship with Red is sustained by this alone.

So turn up your speaker volumes, keep that ‘pop-up’ screen out while you’re attending to your e-mails and Facebook messages, and share a meal or snack with your partner over a camera-date if circumstances prevent you from indulging in the real deal.

Head Banging n’ Tears

Tags

alternative, Chesapeake, concert, elephants, epitaph, esplanade, fort canning park, happenstance, heavy metal, indie, judas priest, lamb of god, live, metal, music, rachael yamagata

1 week. 2 very epic shows in town. 3 fan-tastic artistes / groups.

I often marvel at how privileged our generation has become in recent years, especially active supporters of the international live music scene.

When Lamb of God took their World Wrath tour to Singapore in April 2010, I almost brushed my informant off as someone with a twisted sense of humour. It was already sick enough that Slipknot had graced our lands in 2005 - a night I will never in my life fail to remember, especially having to attend class in junior college the following day with an extremely stiff neck. But this little dot on the map has proven to be an increasing prominent destination for not just monarchs of the Metal world, but also indie, alternative and even instrumental post-rock.

So imagine how thrilled I was when I knew that Lamb of God was returning less than two years after having held their gig here – and together with the legendary Judas Priest, too. That’s two power-packed heavy-metal deities combined to treat local metal-heads to almost four hours of solid, head banging ecstasy for the price of $125!

Now, I didn’t manage to capture very good snapshots or video down any set at all because I myself was so immersed in the music. And I have never believed in paying good money to be videographers or cameramen – trust me, not in a derogatory sense, as those who do so are truly good Samaritans. But here’s the lowdown Epitaph on Monday.

Sadly, I missed the first half an hour of Lamb of God’s opening set to kick-off the night. Thanks to a certain somebody who was no friend of mine but whom I had to wait for because it’s part of a social responsibility to wait for irresponsible people when attending concerts in a group… we missed some of the best songs from LOG such as Walk With Me in Hell (Guitar Hero, anyone?) and Now You’ve Got Something to Die For.

There’s one particular gripe I have about metal events in Fort Canning Park. The sound system is terrible, and I’d advise those standing just before the speakers to put earplugs down as a non-negotiable necessity. It’s not worth having your eardrums blown in for over-amped instrumentals and generous helpings of static.

The audience was also pretty ho-hum; a far cry from the crowd at the World Wrath tour, where those who did not wish to get injured in the mosh had to stand at the very far end. Randy Blythe had to almost beg these metal-heads for a circle pit nearing the end of their set – and even so, from where I was standing, his request did not seem observably met. This is also a phenomenon that stood out to me over the past few metal events – concert goers here have appeared to noticeably toned down. Although it means less contagious excitement to be received, it also means a much safer, grope-free environment for us girls, which also probably explains the increasing number of good-looking chicks (comparable to moi) who have been showing themselves at such events.

Stiff, cross-armed tendencies of the assemblage lightened up a shade at the appearance of the main stars, Judas Priest. I am admittedly not a fan of these guys and some of you might even find it blasphemous that I’ve never heard their music, with the exception of perhaps Painkiller and Breaking the Law, which were also only just introduced to me not too long ago. But even an apathetic attender of this concert would’ve been wowed by their electrifying stage performance.

Costume changes, themed light displays, stage props (including a Harley which Rob Halford vrr-vroomed out during the encore with Freewheel Burning) and plenty of stage action kept me completely captivated, despite not being able to belt out the lyrics along with the more avid fans. Not to mention the latest, youngest and most good-lookin’ member Richie Faulkner, who made sure to throw flirtatious winks and smiles – at the girls, I hope! – every now and then.

As I made my way out past the entrance through a sea of sweaty bodies in black shirts, I pondered upon how it was possible for a man well into his 60s to have kept up such energy and talent.

Red remarked that Epitaph really gave listeners a run for their money. About three hours into the concert and our legs were already aching from the standing, and our buzz was beginning to wear off with fatigue. But the “Metal God” Rob Halford and the main star of the show, continued to prance about and demonstrate an amazing vocal range in a seemingly effortless manner. As I made my way out past the entrance through a sea of sweaty bodies in black shirts, I pondered upon how it was possible for a man well into his 60s to have kept up such energy and talent.

Here’s one of my favourite songs, which happens to fall under their encore list. Living after Midnight!

One enjoyable aspect about being at a free-standing metal gig would be the freedom to do just about anything you want. Hit just about any one under the pretense of moshing; attempt to body surf a little if you have faith in the m-heads around you; head bang and whip people in the faces with your long hair; scream the lyrics out at the top of your lungs. Do these in the concert hall in the Esplanade, and I can almost guarantee you that you’d get yourself thrown out, trailing with unanimous boos and shushing from the audience.

So I went a little crazy at Judas Priest / Lamb of God, and three days later went on to dress up all prim-and-proper to sit quietly through one of my favourite singers of all time: the very beautiful and gifted Rachael Yamagata.

I’ve had her new album, Chesapeake on my hard disk for a while now, but never had the chance or time to give it a listen-through prior to her show. I have, however, much familiarized myself with the tracks Elephants and Happenstance in my years of teenage heartache and misery. So songs such as Starlight - on which Rachael commented, “I wrote this song when I was at home with my cats and feeling sexy”. Some girl from the audience screams: “You ARE sexy, Rachael!” –  and Full On left me awestruck and pleasantly surprised.

The cover of Rachael's latest album, Chesapeake.

When she took to the piano for Elephants, a song I have kept close to me for the past 6 years or so, an inexplicable wave of emotion welled up in my throat. And I could feel my eyes watering up along with my friend’s – who was already sniffling away. Yes, crying to a Rachael Yamagata concert; when I told Red this, he laughed.  Isn’t it all staged when Simon Cowell tears up at a beautiful performance when he’s on set at American Idol, do people really react to songs in that sort of way, he asked incredulously. And it normally isn’t the case for me to go all weepy over a song. For Rachael, I make an exception.

It took me a while into the show to realize that poor Rachael’s voice wasn’t in very good condition. This was only apparent when she was speaking – her speech crackled and faltered constantly between words – yet this did not much affect the delivery of her powerful, heart-rending melodies. That is, until the event of Dealbreaker, where her voice completely gave way at the beginning (she attempted to open with “All of this means nothing…”).  She attempted to cover this with embarrassed laughter, but fans whooped and applauded her encouragingly as she continued to struggle through this particular song.

It’s my first time being at a Rachael concert although she’s already been to Singapore on several occasions; and my $88 was well spent. And kudos to her sharing the limelight with her amazing band mates, as she not only introduces the crew to the audience one by one, but also commends guitarist/vocalist Brian for his lengthy and mind-blowing solo section in Sunday Afternoon - after which she also cuts in the song, saying “I think he deserves a round of applause”. She also leaves it up to cutie bassist/vocalist Dan Carlisle (whom she later refers to as the band’s “Secret Weapon”. I love how he’s gotten rid of all that facial hair for such a boyish, clean-cut look) to cover up for her during her vocal trip-up in Dealbreaker.

Contrary to Judas / Lamb, Rachael’s performance is short, simple and sweet. She dons the same plain black dress throughout the 1 and 1/2 hour set, and the most you’ll ever see is her sitting at the piano, or taking her stand in front of the stage with her guitar. But Rachael, with the support of her band mates as well, illuminated the Esplanade concert hall with a raw talent and brilliance that left me transfixed in silence to my seat. Plus, a well-behaved hall of over a thousand people drank up the sultry, smokey honey of her voice with great relish and gusto – I’m pretty sure they felt the same.

Rachael ended the night with another one of my earliest favourites: Reason Why (below), which couldn’t be more appropriate. And we hang our heads down, as we skip the goodbyes… We know she’ll be back again.

Give Me Some Glimmerlove

Tags

american tale, anna sui, atomizer, beauty, body, body lotion, caramel, damien hirst, dazzle, eye shadow, face it designing eye shadow, for the love of god, glitter, irresistible toffee, lait corps, lipstick, make up, palgantong kamayaki cheek, powder, sephora, shimmer, shine, terracotta, the body shop, the face shop, the sparkler

For the Love of God by Damien Hirst - a platinum-cast human skull encrusted with 8,601 flawless diamonds, including a pear-shaped pink diamond located on the forehead.

The fashion and beauty industries obviously know that we women are suckers for anything that sparkles and shines. A part of our brains structures are somehow similar to that of crows, with a tendency to be momentarily enthralled by bling and shimmer. As a child, I’d always wanted a Bejeweler to stud my OshKosh outfits and whatnot with those glittery colored stones. And perhaps even right now, it’s still somewhere on my Christmas wishlist.

Our obsession is also probably why so many find Damien Hirst’s For the Love of God (left) so captivating despite it’s grotesque nature. And also why the biggest declaration of love, traditionally, would be in the form of a rock set in metal… the bigger, the better.

I may have yet to receive that sort of declaration and it may be a long time until I do so from Red, but that doesn’t stop me from indulging in the dazzling brilliance of much less costly products. Starting from my dresser, I’d like to share my top 10 proudly-owned little packages of shine that never fail to put a spring in my step when I’m out and all dressed up:

1. Eyes: FACE it Designing Eye Shadow

Found at any The Face Shop store for about 28 bucks, this is one of my most frequently used eye-jewels. Currently, I’m using 03 – Purple & Gray, a practical combination of colors with pink and purple such as in the above to use during the day, and a greyish pearly white and glittery jet-black for a starker night effect. This product offers a generous amount of zesty sparkle which I guarantee will reflect even the dimmest of lights. Beautiful purple packaging that also comes with a mirror within the compact case!

2. Hair/Body: The Sparkler

For about SGD $40 at The Body Shop, and only sold seasonally. I read about this glorious bottle of glimmer in some magazine in 2010, but unfortunately was told that it was sold out during the Christmas season in the same year. So you can imagine how excited I was when I saw this on shelves in TBS again last Christmas. Having gotten it in Boudoir Pink (and skipping Enchanting Gold because against my skin tone, it seems a little sallow), what really appealed to me would be the classic atomizer. This reminds me of a scene in one of my favourite childhood animations - An American Tail: Fievel Goes West, where some sassy mouse drowns herself in perfume by excessively squeezing the pump of the bottle. But I have to warn you, the packaging’s strength is also its weakness  - atomizing this shimmery concoction easily gets out of control, and many a time I’ve gotten more glitter all over the floor of my room than on myself. The sheen doesn’t seem to last very long, either.

3. Cheek: Palgantong Kamayaki Cheek

Hailed a popular brand in Japan and Taiwan besides its country of manufacture, this Korean brand of cosmetics is no stranger to the shelves of Watsons, Guardian and various supermarkets all around Singapore. I bought mine in #01 Honeymoon Pink over a year ago for about $15 or so, and to date it remains one of my favorite. In fact, I have it on at this very moment as I’m typing this on the train home! This subtly luminescent terracotta-baked powder comes in a bubbly compact case, complete with a small flip-up mirror and broad brush. Divided into two parts, with one being a solid color and the other being a candy swirl of matching hues, what I do is sweep the brush briefly across both divisions and dust lightly on the apples of my cheeks for a faintly shimmering, radiant glow. Here’s to a sparkly way to give the illusion of higher cheekbones without being too over-the-top.

4. Lips: Anna Sui Lip Rouge Dazzle Series 

I got this as a gift in D 371 (D for dazzle). I must admit that lipstick is really not my style, and I love my food more than the taste of crayons. But I wear this out on special occasions because the shine is definitely long-lived on your smackers – even vigorously rubbing with a wet tissue takes some time to get all the glitter off. And although it’s a little sheer, the sparkling micro-crystals do more than enough to attract all the attention away from that. I might have forgotten to cap it at times or perhaps it had gotten itself uncapped while tumbling around in my bag, because after a few months, this lipstick started drying up a little bit. Still good to glam-up with on the occasions of a wedding dinner or on evenings you decide to hit the club; on regular days I’d stick to my regular Burt’s Bees Lip Shimmer.

5. Body Lotion:  Sephora Lait Corps Caramel Irrésistible 

Whatever happened to this range? Why has it disappeared? I picked this up once during the Christmas season in 2009, and although the simply-designed golden tube of sheer bliss is now empty and long gone, its contents left an everlasting impression on me. Just like its flavour suggests (irresistible toffee), the glittering body lotion left my skin smelling like burnt, sugary goodness all day long, while accenting my arms and legs with a heavenly golden shimmer which was obvious enough to attract plenty of compliments and questions as to what it was. Although you probably can’t find this at Sephora any time soon or ever again, it’s probably my favourite product in this list and what I’d spend thrice its original price on to get it again. If anyone knows if it’s still in production and how I can get it (online or in stores), please be so kind as to drop me a note and I’d snap it up in a jiffy!

It may be a long way ’till Christmas comes round the corner again for us. But we don’t have to wait for stores to start playing the same ‘ole carols on repeat to keep that spark and girly fun glimmering on, and on, and on…

A (Girl’s) Dream Come True

Tags

action, chris pine, comedy, film, hunks, movie review, reese witherspoon, reverse love triangle, romantic, This means war, tom hardy

Girls, this is the ultimate chick flick you've been waiting for.

Two ridiculously good-looking, intelligent and talented men in the same killer – literally – cool profession, battling each other to the death over the same lucky lady. It’s every young and old girl’s fantasy of watching two sex bombs slug it out over you; if you don’t think a real-life reverse harem situation is possible much like Korean and Japanese serials make them out to be, then a reverse love triangle is definitely more a realistic option to indulge in via This Means War. Except for the fact that getting in a tizzy between two hunky best friends would always spell a butt-ugly ending in all cases. And most men would probably be most unwilling to let their egos go that low.

Now on to the triangle:

How does anyone manage to still look so hot, despite occasionally getting his face messed up?

Meet FDR (Chris Pine), the obviously better looking of the ‘brother’ couple. Pine’s liquid, slate blue eyes are absolutely mesmerizing – these and his toothpaste-frosted teeth are constantly emphasized through his more insecure counterpart. Naturally, Pine plays the bad boy all the good girls want. The fiendishly charming, filthy rich party brat who can effortlessly score with any woman of his fancy. That is… until he meets the heroine, who naturally plays hard to get. Predictably, he is initially puzzled and fascinated with her averse attitude towards him, and slaves to work his way into her heart by giving her hope of ‘changing’ him. Romance, tell us something we already don’t know! But then again, who cares. It’s Chris Pine. Strangely, he reminds me of a less-preened, beefier version of Chace Crawford, whom people always refer to as a grown-up Zac Efron. Yet Pine still loses out to Ian Somerhalder on my blue-eyed boy list, whom I’ll probably never stop going gaga over. In short, it’s Somerhalder > Pine > Crawford > Zac – also, I think that excluding Zac, there’s something they all have in common besides blue eyes: caterpillar brows. Mmmm, oozing with testosterone. Why didn’t Chris Pine look so hot in Unstoppable? I barely even put the two and two together!

But I digress.

Pine over Hardy any time on a superficial basis. But if I were Lauren, I'd choose Tuck.

Next up, it’s sweet, good ‘ole Tuck (Tom Hardy). A very cute British divorcee with a 7 year-old son, and extremely kissable-looking lips that make it hard to focus on anything else on screen besides Pine. Hardy plays the good man role: dependable, earnest and the ideal man on every woman’s list – so much that his character even gets verbally interpreted as ‘boring’ by Laura’s bit… best friend Trish (Chelsea Handler). Despite his perfect man image, Tuck dons some titillating tats and a killer-bod. It’s like heaven and hell all contained in the same vessel, and although he falls a little short in the appearance department next to FDR we’d think character-wise he’ll probably be the choice prize for our heroine. After all, who’d want to risk contracting venereal disease from a man-whore despite his delicious good looks? Tuck’s the kind of guy you’d easily imagine chopping wood for the fire on a cold winter’s day, slogging it all out in the snow to keep his family safe and warm indoors.

Yes, we women know how you love being showered with male attention, Lauren.

No male-loving individual (straight women, gay men, the bi-curious) is really paying attention to Lauren (Reese Witherspoon) when the aforementioned studs are already stealing the show. I could almost feel the women around me in the theatre writhing in rage and envy as she bounces back and forth between the hot pair, flirting and locking lips with both, with an equal passion enough to drive spinsters mad with indignation. Throw somebody like Lauren into a society such as Singapore’s and she’d be labelled the S-word and condemned as “going to hell”, as our heroine mock-sadly states in a fleeting moment of guilt. Lauren’s a curious character though – who first appears as the sad, cast-away girl in specs and sweats who constantly mopes over her single hood, as do all the other heroines do in romcoms such as these – and then rapidly evolves into a blonde bombshell after gaining immense amounts of confidence from her, um, situation. But who wouldn’t?

It’s always the courtship that starts off as the most exciting peak of every relationship, and lucky Lauren gets to enjoy the best of both worlds… at least until she makes her final decision. As her pal Trish eggs her on to date the two simultaneously, stating that fact that ‘men do it all the time’, I could almost feel a little cheer swelling up in me: you go, girl!

This chick flick may be just another light hearted rom-com waiting to be forgotten in a year or so, but it has some pretty decent action and from what I observed, also induced quite a fair bit of roaring laughter from its audience as it did with me. A little bit of everything plus the reverse love triangle combo makes for a tasty post-Valentine’s day treat. It really had quite a lousy (albeit ‘happy’) ending, though.

Feminine bias aside, this gets a 6/10. More MFM lovin’ awaits as I look forward to the next episode of the historical Korean series I’ve been hooked on: The Moon That Embraces the Sun. We’d all know we’d eventually have to ‘settle’ or end up crazy cat ladies, but a girl can always dream.